While women tend to seek dating advice less than men do, knowing one or two important things about how men differ from women can improve a relationship tenfold. Here are 10 things you need to know about men.
#1 Love him for who he is and do not try to change him
The most important thing women should know about men is that men are not projects. While many men are far more than what initially meets the eye, you need to earn his trust and work on letting him feel comfortable with you before he will open up. So, while bad boys may have a gentle side, the man you get to know is the man he will always be – you cannot mould and manipulate him into someone else.
#2 Respect is very important
Feeling disrespected or inadequate is worse than feeling unloved. Sometimes it is the small things that make men feel like he is seen as less than the man he wants to be. It is not about ego, it is about feeling secure in his role as a provider, companion, lover, and as a man. Learn where you might make him feel disrespected and try to avoid those behaviours or situations – or at least make sure he knows that you still love and respect him.
#3 Men get insecure too
Whether it is in showing his love, buying the right gifts, being “manly” enough, satisfying your needs, or even his appearance, men get insecure as much as women. The unfortunate thing is that some men feel like they do not have a forum to express their insecurities without sacrificing their masculinity. Providing support and encouragement can do wonders for his self-esteem, just the same as it does for women.
Dating advice on men would be incomplete without a hearty section on sex. The truth is, men are generally more easily aroused than women. However the inclination towards more sex is not, in any way, simple.
A loving, active sexual relationship between partners lets the male partner feel loved and desired. Much like women, where feeling like she is being heard and can express her thoughts and feelings lets a women feel loved and supported, being desired by his partner lets a man feel needed and appreciated.
#5 Confidence is a big thing
The dreaded “ego” is often a touchy subject between men and women – mostly because general dating advice dismisses the true source of a man’s ego. Being confident, as in women, is a slippery slope for men. As already explained insecurities in men stem from feeling they are not needed, inadequate, and disrespected.
If a man chooses to share his insecurities with a partner, he expects that partner to protect that information. Not only should that information be protected, but a woman who can use what she has been told in private to up her man’s confidence is likely to have a happy, confident partner.
#6 Needed does not equal needy
These insecurities are not meant to have women walking on eggshells. Feeling needed is a very important part of many men’s self-esteem, but that should not mean that he expects you to be walking on tiptoes around him. While many men find independent women very attractive, they still want to help out where they can.
#7 The only games he likes are ones with a professional commentators
Ditching manipulative games early on into a relationship (early on, as in do not start them at all) is something all men wish women could do. While flirting and playful banter in the courting stages of a relationship may be attractive to some men, games that run further into the relationship may cause distrust, resentment, and, ultimately, a loss of interest in the relationship.
#8 Talking is not the only form of sharing
Do not be bashful about spontaneous gifts or whimsical dates – men love to show their partners how much they love them. Spoiling you, even if it is washing the dishes or a back rub after a long day, is how many men show their appreciation and express their love.
If he wants to include you in his favourite things, you are doing something right. While many men cherish their “boys’ nights”, if you show interest many men will happily, and appreciatively, include their partners in their hobbies. Men want to share themselves with their partners; you just need to expect more than a heart-to-heart.
#9 Physical intimacy leads to emotional intimacy
Many men find talking very difficult. While, especially in the case of pillow talk, many men are happy and comfortable to open up, getting him to a position where he feels safe and secure to share with you is important. Intimacy helps with this. Not only sexual intimacy can prompt him to spill the beans – though, as explained, sex can help with feeling needed and desire and can result in him feeling happy to share. Sharing in his favourite activity and hobbies, or simply just doing the things he likes with him helps to increase the intimacy between couples.
#10 Emotion versus logic
If he tries to “fix” all of the things you just want to vent about do not take offense. Men often tend to solve problems logically. While women may want to talk it out, men would rather sort it out. Most men are appreciative when his partner explains, before she lets loose the floodgates, that she just needs to talk about it – that way he knows to hold back his desire to help and fix and can contribute in a way that you need instead.