When I reached the ripe age of 38, I was still single and felt resigned to the fact that I would remain that way forever. My friends suggested I get a couple of cats – to help pass all those pathetically lonely hours after they spotted the fact that I had taken up knitting too.
I thought I had tried to find a special someone. I had been active on an online dating website on and off for more than two years but nothing stuck.
Getting the first date was never the problem. My dating site profile was done with care and my narratives were honest and eloquent so what was the problem? I had to face the horrifying fact that I was the problem!
The laws of attraction
The law of attraction describes a philosophy of affirmation. Everything we do and feel is sent into the world and in turn attracts us to events and situations which are on the same frequency.
For example if you believe you will not attract a suitable mate, you emanate a negativity which other people subconsciously find off-putting and it keeps love interest at bay. Be aware of the messages you might be sending through your thoughts and actions.
Putting yourself ‘out there’
Now that you have decided to gain the confidence to start dating again and have decided you don’t want to fly solo for the remainder of your natural life; it’s time to take a hard look at your availability.
Not wearing a ring does not communicate automatic availability to the opposite sex. More non-verbal gestures might actually really suggest if you’re available or not.
Dating Someone – 3 Things To Pay Attention To:
#1 How are you dressed
Wearing all black leather with metal studs might scare people off, as does dressing like an A-sexual librarian, teacher or IT-specialist. Cracked heals and stained clothes are just not attractive. Make an effort with your appearance. It communicates to people that you have self-respect and should be treated with respect.
#2 Body Language
Do you fold your arms in front of you when speaking to people or do you hold your shopping bag between the two of you to block your body? Do you avoid eye-contact or do you refuse to smile? All of these little nuances communicates that you are unavailable.
#3 What you say
It is always pertinent to think about what you say. Oral communication is your most direct and most easily understood method of getting your message across.
Keep negativity from your lips. Don’t criticize yourself or others. Avoid getting involved with gossip. Rather apply your energy to entertaining positive thoughts and kind words. This is much more attractive to the opposite sex than someone who is sour and very critical.
Where can you be found?
Are you physically available and visible? Chances are you won’t find your soul mate in the postman who comes right to your door. You will remain single forever if you hide on your comfy couch all day and all night. You will have to go out, that’s just a fact.
Join the local fitness club or take a cookery or language course. Not only will you have the opportunity of meeting some interesting people you will also grow your own field of interests and abilities – which is an attractive quality in itself.
The point is that whether you believe in fate or not you still have to buy the lottery ticket if you hope to win the lottery. Making the effort could pay off in more ways than you expected.
I have met many great people while using a dating website and most have remained close friends. Once I changed the way I thought about dating and myself the universe returned the favour and I met a fantastic man. It’s important that you remember that you will meet the perfect match as soon as you are ready for him or her and they are ready for you. In the meanwhile enjoy the journey and at least expand your circle of friends.